Online Dating And Seduction Secrets

Make no bones about it . . . Rejection hurts! And like you would keep a first aid kit handy to nurse yourself when you are hurting physically, the same helps when you are hurting emotionally after the object of your desire shoots you down.

This first aid kit for your ego should fit somewhere that will enable you to take it out whenever you need it. It should consist of any item that gives you instant reassurance that you are not a loser even though one particular girl is not interested.

Items such as a photo of a pretty girl that likes you, or a card with the number of the last girl you slept with, or maybe a bank statement that has your checking account balance on it. Basically, any little token that signifies a past success.

Keep these items in a small pouch or in your wallet, and whenever you need a quick confidence boost, take them out and peruse them as a reminder that just because this girl rejects you, it’s her loss.

(thanks to Supply Guy 3000)

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Maybe you’re one of those people who has a gift for making people laugh. Perhaps on a first date, you effortlessly inspire everything from chuckles to guffaws. Congrats on that. But let’s say you’re more like the rest of us, who really, really want to amuse the folks we meet at bars and parties or go out with on dates but just don’t know how. Then this advice is for you. Listen up as five comedians share their tried-and-true tactics for making ‘em laugh.

Funny Fundamental #1: The Bait-and-Switch From: Andy Vastola, a comic who’s appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman
“The ‘bait-and-switch’ is often used to keep the other person on their toes and to prevent the conversation from getting stale. There are two basic steps to the ‘bait and switch.’ Step one: Deliberately misinterpret something your date says. Step two: Answer with a statement that’s a play on what they’ve said. For example, your date may ask, ‘How do you like the scones?’ (the bait). Your response: ‘I don’t know; I’ve never seen The Scones in concert. Are they good?’ (the switch). This is a win/win situation. If your date laughs, it means they have a sense of humor and they’re a keeper. If not, they think you’re a bonehead and will do the breaking up for you.”

Funny Fundamental #2: The Callback From: Dan Allen, stand-up comic on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend
“Show your date that you’re able to laugh at your mistakes and bring back a funny moment throughout the night with a technique called ‘the callback.’ For example, one time I accidentally mispronounced ‘Pinot Grigio’ as ‘Peanut Gringo,’ much to the amusement of my date (and our waiter). Then, throughout the evening, I occasionally inserted intentional mispronunciations like ‘Fill-ette migg-non’ into the conversation. It showed that I could make fun of myself and be creative at the same time. A word of warning: Use this technique only three times in the night after that, the joke gets old, and there’s a fine line between hilarious and just reminding your date you messed up.”

Funny Fundamental #3: Character Voices From: Ophira Eisenberg, stand-up comic and a panelist for Us Weekly’s Fashion Police
“Pump up your anecdotes with fun character voices to get your date more interested and laughing. We’re not talking about Daffy Duck impressions stick to mimicking characters in your story. Trust me, the time you got pulled over for a speeding ticket will be so much funnier if you give the cop an oafish voice. And don’t worry if you can’t master an accent or if it’s not a good impression it’s the effort that counts! However, don’t risk trying an impression of your date while on the date. Save that for years down the road.”

Funny Fundamental #4: The Save From: Christian Finnegan, panelist on VH1’s Best Week Ever, a tongue-in-cheek roundup of pop culture
“A ’save’ is when you create an awkward situation by accident and then alleviate your blunder by saying something funny. For instance, you might go on a 10-minute tirade about how much you loathe Billy Joel only to have your date tell you she’s seen him in concert 14 times. At this point you may be tempted to apologize, but don’t. You said what you said equivocating just makes you look weak. To ’save’ this situation, you need to take your argument to absurd proportions, and say something like, ‘Obviously you’re unaware that Billy Joel cheated my entire family out of our fortune.’ This renders the whole conversation ridiculous, and therefore harmless. And by not immediately apologizing, you display a blend of confidence and independence. 10 points for you!”

Funny Fundamental #5: The “Yes, And” Tactic From: Carmen Lynch, comedian on Last Comic Standing
“The ‘yes, and…’ is simply building on a statement your date makes in order to move the conversation to an absurd new level. For example, if your date takes one look at the restaurant bill and says it’s so high he’ll have to rob a bank to cover it, don’t just let his comment sit there. Take it one step further by saying, ‘Sure, robbing a bank sounds like a good idea and there’s one just down the block. How about I drive the getaway car?’ If, however, you aren’t digging the guy, definitely don’t ‘yes, and…’ his offer for a second date. End the improv scene right there!”

Elise Nersesian is a New York-based writer who covers love, sex, and relationships. Luckily, her current beau keeps her in stitches pretty much non-stop. Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.

Boy Scouts know that the motto “Be Prepared” is an important one, and you should know that also.

Think back through the years about some of the gals that have started conversations with you, the way it took you by surprise, and how you wished you could have said a lot more things once you had time to digest the conversation.

What the gals were most often doing was hitting on you, but it may have been so subtle you didn’t know it at the time.

As someone dating a lot, you know how difficult and awkward it can be sometimes to hit on a babe in your presence. Well, it is just as difficult for the gals to begin a conversation with a guy she would like to get to know. This is where your “Be Prepared” motto will assist you.

From now on, get it in your mind that EVERY gal that begins a conversation with you is interested in getting to know you, that is why she began the conversation in the first place. Get the thought in your mind that, “hey this babe approached me, she likes my looks, and wants to get to know me.”

And, for heavens sake, be prepared to swing into action with at least five or six good smooth questions that toss the subject back to her as a person, to keep her talking. And, of course, the most important one of all is for that phone number or a never fail way to contact her in the next few days.

Be prepared for nothing less. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

I stumbled on the concept years ago when I was right out of the service. I took a week to relax and vacation at Daytona Beach, Florida. Like a lot of tourists, I had bought some of the snazzy tee shirts that had the Daytona Beach logo on them.

When I would wear one of the shirts to a college hot spot back home here in Ohio, I would have gals approach me and begin a conversation WITH ME about Florida. They hadn’t necessarily been to Daytona Beach, often times they wanted to talk about Ft. Lauderdale or Tampa or St. Petersburg. The important thing was that they initiated the conversation with me, which showed they welcomed my conversation, which boosted my confidence immensely, because there was no fear of rejection on my part.

The next important thing is that the subject matter of Florida led to so many things to talk about! They were excited to tell me all about where they went, why they went, how many times they went, are they going back, etc. The entire subject matter was one of pleasant memories they loved to relive. It was so easy to keep the conversation flowing, that by the time we exhausted that subject, we had been talking several minutes, were comfortable with each other, and had gained a lot of valuable “free” information about each other.

It didn’t take me long to realize how many hot babes my logo tees had allowed me to get to know. As soon as a gal would comment about my shirt, it set off that instant “Bingo!! Babe alert!!” message in my mind that allowed me to swing into action, because I was prepared.

So, you too need to “be prepared.” The very next time any gal begins a conversation with you, no matter where you are or what the occasion, just immediately assume she wants to get to know you, smoothly switch over to talking about HER and things she is interested in, and make sure you get on base by getting that all important phone number!

You will find yourself getting lots of “extra base hits and home runs” all because you were prepared!

(info by Jim)

The first step to overcoming fear is always the same: recognize your fear as fear.

Once you realize that you are afraid, you are free to deal with it. Once you know what you are dealing with, you can handle it.

Dealing with fear isn’t easy. There is no complete solution to overcoming fear - we will always have it. The extent of fear, however, can be changed.

As stated above, the first step is recognition of your fear. For example, if you are in a situation where you see a hot girl who you would like to get to know but you can’t bring yourself to approach, you have to recognize that you are AFRAID of approaching.

I know, it’s not rocket science, but a lot of people (even you) do not go through the process of having the COURGAGE to call fear “fear”. They may call it “anxiety”, “stress”, “pressure”, or any number of other words. But in the end it all boils down to fear.

Fear usually originates from childhood. When you were 8, you learned from your mom, from TV, from movies, and from songs a few simple, but very destructive myths about women:

* It is rude/weird to touch them — the basis of our fear of KINO.

* The key to getting women is to treat them like queens — the basis of our fear of showing flamboyant confidence around women.

* You should always avoid confrontation with a woman at all costs — the basis of our fear to approach.

* If a woman really likes you, she will approach you — another basis of our fear to approach.

* Hot women only go for really muscular or pretty-boy guys — yet another basis of our fear to approach.

* Women really want an honest, straightforward guy — the basis of our fear of being a challenge.

* Women want a dependable guy — the basis of our fear to be exciting and unpredictable.

Once again, all of the above are myths.

So, how do we get over our fears? We recognize them as fears. Then we rationalize them. “Is fear warranted here?” This is the key. Look at yourself from an objective point of view. If you can do this successfully, you will be able to look at your situation with much more clarity and wisdom.

Say, for example, that you are afraid to kiss a girl on your first date. Rationalize: Think of the facts. Only of the facts. Try to see through your negative emotions (which cloud your vision). The facts probably are:

1. She has accepted the date. Therefore she must have a reasonably high interest level.

2. The only way she can hurt me, is emotionally, and I have complete control of my emotions.

3. I can always gracefully walk away after trying.

Result: All systems go. Go for the kiss. Very good chance of getting it.

YOU DO HAVE ANOTHER OPTION TO FACING FEAR: Don’t think at all, just act on positive emotions and desires. Far simpler, a lot quicker.

Comes up with the same results; and the best part is: you feel so empowered. Basically, you just charge forward acting on pure instinct (but disregarding all negativity). It’s that easy.

So, in summary, the two best ways of facing fear are:

Rationalizing:

Recognize that you are afraid. Isolating the reason for your fear. Think of the bare facts. Act on them.

Instincts:

Recognize that you are afraid. Act purely on POSITIVE instincts.

The result of both: come off silky smooth, and confident. AS IF you have no fear.

But of course, you know better… we all have fear, but some of us know how to deal with it.

(info by De La Soul)

Here’s a list of movies with actors who embody the qualities of a great man.

1) Bullit

Starring Steve McQueen and Jacqueline Bisset. See how composed and calm Bullit (Steve McQueen) appears even under the most dangerous and stressful situations. Also, see how he listens and responds to Jackie’s emotional pleadings. Smooth.

2) The Maltese Falcon

Starring Humphrey Bogart. Nobody plays cool private eyes like Humphrey. He’s tough with bad guys and smooth with women. Also watch Humphrey in other movies like Casablanca and The Big Sleep.

3) The Presidio

Starring Mark Harmon, Meg Ryan, and Sean Connery. See how Mark Harmon handles Meg’s Oprah-like melodrama. Sean Connery plays Meg’s father and, despite Sean’s overbearing and intimidating presence, Mark is able to deal with him as an equal.

4) The Thomas Crown Affair

Watch either the old version (the one with Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway) or the new version (the one with Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo). See how calm and confident Thomas Crown is.

5) The Count of Monte Cristo

There are different versions of this but one of my favorites is a TV version made in 1974 starring Richard Chamberlain. He embodies the qualities of a real Don Juan. The version that came out in theaters a couple years ago is also good. Also watch the TV miniseries starring Gerard Depardieu.

5) The Scarlet Pimpernel

Starring Leslie Howard (I think). Chivalry and swashbuckling at its finest. Also watch a newer version of The Scarlet Pimpernel with Steve Andrews (I think) and Jane Seymour from 1982.

(info by Lynx)

As guys we often sit around and wonder just what it is a woman wants. We see amazing looking girls with over wait guys, geek’s, nerds, and just about anything else you can think of. All of these guys got one thing in common that stands out from the rest. Its called confidence.

What makes this really hard to understand is that woman aren’t exactly the most confident creatures in the world either. So why should they be so judgemental on a guys confidence level. There the ones who fix themselves till they look absolutely perfect. Doesn’t that sound like a confidence issue.

Either way there really isn’t anything we can do about it. Woman like a confident man. So just how do you get more confidence? You have to improve your positive thinking. That’s where it all starts. Its not so much that you have no confidence. Its just that your not confident when it comes to woman.

You need to start and look at woman as something your good at. If your good at cooking you just do it. You don’t think about it cause you know your good. When you see a girl your interested in just walk up and start talking to her in a friendly manner.

Does that sound like something that would be hard for you to do?

Many guys tend to just doubt themselves. When they see a girl their interested in they start saying stuff like she is out of my league and numerous other things. That is negative thinking and you have got to change it.

Next time you see a girl your interested in you should change your mental thought to something more positive. You should be saying to yourself the following.

She looks interesting.

I would like to get to know her better.

I’m going to see what she’s up to for this weekend.

I’m going to ask her out.

I bet she would love to spend the night out with me.

You can probably see the difference this type of thought would have on you.

You need to start and practise your positive thinking if your struggling to get the girl or keep the girl. The bottom line is woman want a confident man and you need to overcome it.

About The Author

Tyler Casselman is an online dating expert. He owns the popular site Online Dating Home.
http://www.online-dating-home.com

I was at a bar once and I spotted a hot looking woman. I approached her to pick her up only to have her tell me she just got there and does not want to be bothered, she does not give out her number, and to try to talk to her later if she has the time.

She said she wants to be cautious about meeting people and does not allow herself to so freely open up or give out her number.

I saw her a few times during my time at the bar - each time with a different guy having a blast.

So near the end of the night I figured I have nothing to lose so I went up to her and said, “I am leaving now. I guess we never did get a chance to connect and have a totally passionate love affair.”

She looked stunned. I gave her my number.

A week went by, she called and apologized for her rude behavior in the bar and for taking so long to call me. We ended up going out and having a blast together.

Although we never ended up having a relationship, because her rudeness re-emerged later, we still had a blast going out.

But I kept thinking about why this worked and if I could repeat whatever I did I could be very successful.

The answer came to me 5 months later as I was reading about the Scarcity Principle and its effectiveness in influencing behavior. The principle says that the more scarce something is, then more valuable that something seems to actually become.

What makes things even more valuable is when they are at first plentiful, but then are taken away or reduced in amounts later. People therefore seem to be more influenced by the possibility of loss rather than opportunity for gain.

So the idea is to make someone think they have something already, or the potential to have something great, and if they do not act or take advantage of what you suggest, they may lose it forever.

It is also advisable to structure your argument in terms of prevention of loss rather than opportunity for gain (i.e. “If you do not drink your milk, your teeth will fall out” rather than “Drink your milk to have stronger teeth.”)

This is why my initially disinterested lady turned around and became interested and agreed to go out with me. Through my comment I indicated to her that we could have a great time and a passionate affair, and if we do not connect we may lose a great opportunity.

Fearing the loss of something that she may already have, she acted on her fear of loss — called me, apologized, and agreed to go out with me.

So now what I do when I meet a new lady is I say…

“You and I could have a blast going out. It would be a shame if we never had the opportunity to do that.” or

“It would be great if we exchanged numbers since otherwise we may lose a great opportunity to see each other again.”

If she says she is busy, not interested, does not date men she meets at wherever you met her, has a boyfriend, or whatever, I say…

“You know I could be the guy with whom you can have the greatest time of your life, but by your reluctance you could forever lose this opportunity and never have a chance to find out.” or

“You have no idea how great of a time we could have and how much fun we could have together with each other. It would be a shame if we lost that opportunity forever.” or

“You say that you just want to be friends, but you and I could have one of the world’s greatest romances. But you would never experience that and lose it forever since you only want to be just friends.” or

“You say you do not want to take me up to your apartment tonight because you will feel guilty in the morning. But you and I could have one of the greatest nights making love, and you could feel great in the morning, but you will lose the opportunity to find out if we do not….”

And on and on.

Now simply describing a benefit is not as effective in that when you describe a benefit people automatically begin to think of possible drawbacks to what you suggest. They want to revert back to their average and normal perception of their reality. And by describing a benefit, you are going above their average experience.

To bring themselves back to their average they need to think of negative drawbacks. This very often prevents people from taking advantage of what you offer unless they are prime and ready right then and there, which is usually the case where their current condition has taken them below their mental average.

Most people are even keel though, and to get around this problem you can make it seem as if they already have something great, or have the chance to gain some great benefit, but stand to lose it if they do not act.

Thus making it seem that their inaction or disinterest or reluctance has them below their average. They need to act to take themselves back to their average reality.

My success rate on getting women to go out with me has increased about 40% while my ability to turn around unsure and flaking women has doubled.

Think of all the women you could lose by not trying out these methods. They could all be out there waiting for you, but you will never know by sitting around continuing to do what you are doing.

(info by Mark Bednarski)

I met a girl at work about 6 months ago and we had a couple of very nice dates. The first one, I’d say, was the best first date I’d ever been on.

I wasn’t initially super-attracted to this particular woman, and she wasn’t what anyone would consider to be a “10″. But I enjoyed talking to her so much that an attraction grew.

This is the first time I was willing to date a “tweener”. A few pounds either way would make her really hot or really not. And I was proud of myself for not being shallow. That being said, I’m no “10″ myself.

After our second date, I just got a really weird vibe. I asked her if we were just out on a date, or just out as “friends”. She thought we were just friends.

We all know how that word, coming from a woman, feels. Personally, I’d rather get punched in the face than hear that ever again. Needless to say, my self-esteem was wounded.

Anyway, being a good sales rep, I summed up for her, in a light-hearted kind of way, all of the reasons I thought she should give me a try. I told her, “I’m 6′4″ tall, good body, nice guy, six-figure income, witty, smart, lots of cash in the bank.” She didn’t disagree.

But then I realized something. I’ve got a pretty solid personal resume. I just never said it out loud before. This chick was turning down what was probably the best offer she would ever get!

I felt better immediately.

So guys, if you get turned down by a “tweener” or a “10″, forget about it. Remind yourself of your good points, and get back out there.

Not every woman has to like you. Ultimately, you only need one.

(info by G-Man)

I’m in my senior year of college as a Management major and one of the books I had to read was on the “Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun.” As I was reading, I noticed there were several concepts mentioned that can be directly applied to dating. Here they are:

In one chapter, Attila was talking to his army about the importance of dressing for battle.

“When on the hunt, be prepared to hunt. Wear the clothing that will serve you well as you chase the wild beasts in the forest. Insignificant as they may seem, dress and armament are important and will be counted in the measure of your success or failure.”

The same is true in dating in regards to being prepared to pursue women and how to dress. Look sharp because it will have a major impact on your success.

In another chapter entitled “Surviving Defeat: There is Another Day”, Attila suffered his first and only defeat to his bitter rival Aetius from the Roman Empire. After regrouping, Attila gives words of encouragement to his army.

“My aim is to kindle the fires of your emotional stamina so that you may not become hopeless in the face of disappointment. Let these insights to my secrets be the fuel to ignite the fires of your determination to retreat and regroup your ambitions for success on another day. For as long as you breathe, all is not lost.”

*No Chieftain will ever win every encounter. Sometimes you will lose, regardless of how prepared you are to win.

*Momentary loss of self-worth, confidence and determination are normal emotions that accompany personal loss. Do not dwell on your bad moments too long.

*Learn from defeat! Don’t become a victim of it.

All of us have had failures in dating. Whether it was getting rejected and having a negative experience at a club or just having a bad date, everyone experiences setbacks. It is just a part of dating, so choose to do something about it.

Learn from it rather than feeling down, discouraged, or having a pity party. Choose to rise above it by regaining your confidence and using some of the leadership secrets of Attila.

Of course, when dating or pursuing women, there is more to it than just dressing the part and overcoming failure. But these are two key concepts that if learned and applied along with other tips mentioned in this newsletter, it can bring you success in dating.

(info by Mark)