Online Dating And Seduction Secrets

These days a lot of people have become lazy and uninterested in leaving their dorm unless sex or alcohol is involved. Thus online dating has become very popular. So we’re going to offer you some tips and an anecdote about online dating to keep you on your toes.

Do:

- Use a real picture. Self-explanatory right? Not even close. First you have people who refuse to send you photos for a variety of reasons. You know the ones, they’re not of this world, they claim the camera decided to end its own life, viewing the photo may cause grisly death and alcoholism. The list goes on. And then there are people who are incapable of taking a picture. They go for the trendy My Space shit, or they just take the dumbest looking photo they can possibly think of and slap it in as many public places as possible. Did you learn nothing from those creepy guys that used to come to elementary schools and tried to get you to take a good picture? Smile. Face the Camera. And for the love of toast comb your hair.

-Meet in a public place. Forget places like the Ritz or the fancy restaurant in town. Head over to the nearest Wal-Mart. Public places will give you a chance to run, and if you’re in a place like Tampa Bay, plenty of video footage in case things (or your new pal) are hairy.

-Ask a friend to come. This might be one of those instances where a cock blocker can be a welcomed tool. If you have friends who might not be interested in putting their life on the line, make sure you give them plenty of information. Specifically how you will come back to life and haunt them for the rest of eternity if something happens to you.

Don’t:

- Don’t be fake. If you spontaneously erupt after eating Mexican, say so. Then stay the hell away from Mexican restaurants. On second thought, tell your possible new buddy the truth, but don’t tell them that much truth. No one wants to know what you do when the lights go out. Make sure you don’t start lying either. Because you will get caught. And in all likelihood the lie will be a big one like, “I don’t live with my parents anymore.” The first second your mom comes home from the mall you bet your ass that your date is going to hit the road faster than a junkie looking for their fix.

-Don’t give out personal information like crack. Not even like food you dropped on the floor. In fact, just keep your mouth shut and hit the bars ok?

-Don’t go home with your new friend just yet. That’s how the terrorists win. Instead invite them over to your hopefully gun owning home.

-Remember that scene in Spider-Man 2 where Peter realizes a giant taxicab is about to kill him and MJ? Meeting the person of your Internet dreams is exactly like that. Use you Spider Senses. Otherwise the following may happen to you.

In the spring of 2002 my neighbor Jake decided he was going to find a girl online to hook up with. Jake wasn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He didn’t take showers too often and once managed to light himself on fire while yelling “fire be bad!” And for those of you who listen to the show you’ll realize this is the same Jake we relentlessly mock by saying “I R Jake, Fire Be BAD.” Between being as smart as a Comedy Central network executive and going to a school with a ten to one guy to girl ration it’s not a coincidence that Jake would need to meet a girl online in order to get some.

During a visit to an AOL chat rooms Jake came across this girl who we’re going to call “D.” D and Jake started talking a lot on line. We’re talking daily flirting, picture exchanges, and even those nauseating heart icons being passed back and forth. All I or anyone else in the suite would ever hear about is how great this girl, how “totally hot” she was, and how he looks forward to talking to her every day. None of us ever really paid attention or cared for that matter. Until one day one of them came up with the bright idea to meet each other at Alfred State.

So the day comes and Jake is all excited because the pictures that “D” sent Jake were clearly copied off a fashion magazine’s website. I kept saying the pictures were fake but he didn’t want to hear it. I said to him, “wouldn’t it be funny if she comes here and she’s huge?” Not that I have something against bigger girls, but if you’re sending someone fashion model photos instead of actual photos a two foot tall midget in the back of your head should be sounding an alarm.

And something was up. The car came and we saw two girls inside. One girl was a really attractive blonde who turned out to be the famous KT who you’ve seen around the site, and a larger Hispanic looking girl. Jake immediately thought the KT was “D” and went to introduce himself. She corrected him and the greatest thing in the world happened. I looked at my roommate Matt, he looked at me, and we laughed hysterically.

What followed was a long night of awkwardness for our pal Jake while Matt and myself got to hang out with the only cool girl ever to come from New Jersey. Personally I feel bad for “D” and KT driving all the way up to Alfred State just to meet this loser. But I suppose these kinds of things happen when the Internet is involved. This story and tips should always be in the back of your mind because it could happen to you.

(info by Brandon J. Mendelson from http://www.thebrandonshow.com)

This is a simple list of things you need to do before going on an important date.

It includes things about yourself - such as brushing your teeth, taking a shower, maybe getting your hair trimmed, cutting your fingernails, etc.

It also includes things about your home - such as cleaning your bathroom, washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpet, making sure your fridge is stocked with things to drink and munch on, etc.

And your list should include other miscellaneous items - such as washing your car, getting money out of the bank, making reservations, etc.

It is especially important that you include items on your pre-date checklist that are important but you’re apt to forget - making sure you have a full tank of gas, putting a full roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, putting on your favorite cologne, etc. Whatever. The list will vary from person to person.

Even if you think there’s very little chance of anything out of the ordinary happening on this particular date, you should always plan that it will. Always be prepared.

Even if you’re supposed to meet her someplace, you should plan that you and she will wind up in your car at some point, and prep it accordingly.

Even if you think there’s very little chance of the two of you coming back to your place, you should have the place spotless and everything in its place just in case.

Even if you think there’s very little to no chance of anything “sexual” happening, you should plan that it will, and have the appropriate protection, lube, whips, chickens, or whatever other weirdo stuff you happen to be interested in available. (You disgust me!)

Having this simple checklist, which will grow and grow as you date more and more, will make your life so much simpler and your date so much less stressful.

You won’t be on your way out the door, running late to pick her up - as usual - when you realize that there are dirty dishes everywhere, the garbage is overflowing, you have no wine, you need gas, and you have to stop at the bank to get money. (Oh, and by the way, that particular ATM will not, of course, be working.) Then you arrive 45 minutes late, your date is already annoyed, and you’re stressed, sweating, and smell like gasoline.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

Develop your pre-date checklist and make your dates the joyful, stress-free, and fun experiences they’re supposed to be.

(info by Allen Thompson)

Facing slumping growth and heavy competition, online-dating sites are adopting a new strategy in their quest for the lovelorn: They’re becoming user-friendly.

Want to banish forever the face of that guy who’s totally wrong for you? For the first time, Match.com is letting members permanently block other people’s ads. Seeking someone who’s a “giver,” a “rebel” or an “observer”? Yahoo Personals now lets you search for them. Dying to know if Ms. Right is a philanderer or a felon? True will run a background check.

As some sites go tech-happy, others are wooing specialized audiences — including the fat, the devout and the right-here-right-now crowd — in an effort to swipe a chunk of the market from the big boys.

There’s plenty at stake in the matchmaker world. Online-dating sites raked in $473 million from American customers in 2004, according to JupiterResearch, which expects revenue to reach $516 million this year.

That would be enough to make many companies happy, but not in the internet personals business, where double- or triple-digit growth has been the norm. To make matters worse, Hitwise reported last week that online-dating sites accounted for fewer than 1 in 100 internet visits, a drop of 15 percent since this time last year.

At the same time, it’s becoming more expensive for dating sites to advertise online and woo enough new customers to create a viable site, said Mark Brooks, an industry consultant who blogs about the business. “We’re going through the big squeeze,” he said, one in which consolidation looms and innovation is key to survival.

Indeed, the old approach to online personal ads — slap a bunch of photos online, throw in a crude search engine — is rapidly becoming as retro as SWMs seeking love in the newspaper classifieds.

Many sites offer “compatibility matching,” promising that complicated algorithms will find someone whose personality complements yours. Curious about who’s intrigued by you? Match.com, which Hitwise says is the second-most-popular dating site after Yahoo Personals, has a kind of lurker uncloaker: It allows you to see who checks out your ad.

(info by Randy Dotinga from http://www.wired.com/news/ebiz/0,1272,68330,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_3)

Nine times out of ten, I can give a girl a hand massage, with no hesitation. I just grab their hand and massage it.

Their eyes glaze over, I own them. I never ASK, I just do it.

I will also just go up and rub their shoulders, they almost never refuse.

I DO know massage and how women LOVE it. One of the best tools in your box.

When I ask women who have boyfriends (whilst massaging them) “Do they massage as well as I do?” Almost always they say, “Never!”

So, guys, learn massage.

(info by Maxx)

The Internet can be a good place to meet people, but you’ll need to keep a few things in mind. Here’s some advice from online experts.

Shop around:

Check out several dating sites before signing up. Find one that fits your personality and goals.

Be positive: Stay upbeat. Have a friend help you write good things about yourself for the profile.

Post a photo: Don’t be shy. Profiles with photos are viewed eight times more often than profiles without photos.

Be safe: Pick a public place, arrive separately and set a time limit for the first date.

– KATHLEEN ROLDAN, spokeswoman and dating expert for Match.com

Be thoughtful: Take the time to accurately and thoroughly fill out your profile.

Be prepared: Don’t go into the process lightly. Many people are looking for long-term relationships.

Go slow: Take your time to get to know the person. Exchange e-mails, talk on the phone, keep the first date short.

Tell a friend: As a safety precaution, let a friend know where you’re going before you take off for your first few dates.

– MARYLYN WARREN, senior vice president of marketing for eHarmony.com

Stay grounded: It could take awhile to find the right person. Don’t put too much pressure on the first dates.

Meet face-to-face: There’s no substitute for meeting in person to find out if you click.

Use the cell: Instead of your home phone number, give out your cell. It can’t be traced by address.

Remember the golden rule: Treat people like you want to be treated. Be polite if you break off a relationship.

– JIM GRIBBLE, Internet marketing consultant and creator of InternetDatingTales.com

(info from http://www.freep.com/features/living/netlove-box120e_20050720.htm)