Online Dating And Seduction Secrets

Finding love in cyberspace is not easy, and now some frustrated online daters say they were victims of fraud by two top internet matchmaking services and have taken their complaints to court. a unit of IAC/Interactive

Match.com, is accused in a federal lawsuit of goading members into renewing their subscriptions through bogus romantic e-mails sent out by employees. In some instances, the suit contends, people on the Match payroll even went on sham dates with subscribers as a marketing ploy.

“This is a grossly fraudulent practice that Match.com is engaged in,” said H Scott Leviant, a lawyer at Arias, Ozzello & Gignac, which brought the suit. “Match promotes the policies of integrity to protect members, and yet they themselves, we allege, are misleading their entire customer base,” he said

The company said it doesn’t comment on pending litigation. But Match spokeswoman Kristin Kelly said the company “absolutely does not” employ people to go on dates with subscribers or to send members misleading e-mails professing romantic interest.

The company has about 15m members worldwide and 250 staff, she said. In a separate suit, Yahoo’s personals service is accused of posting profiles of fictitious potential dating partners on its Web site to make it look as though many more singles subscribe to the service than actually do.

Yahoo spokeswoman Rochelle Adams said the company had no comment. The suits, which seek class-action status, came as growth in the online dating industry has slowed, although web matchmaking remains a big business. US consumers spent $245.2m on online personals and dating services in H1 of ‘05, up 7.6% from a year earlier, according to the Online Publishers Association. That’s slow compared with several years ago.

Competition among online dating services is fierce, with sites offering features like compatibility surveys to match up people with similar temperaments and outlooks. The Match lawsuit was filed earlier this month in US District Court in Los Angeles by Matthew Evans, who contends he went out with a woman he met through the site who turned out to be nothing more than “date bait” working for the company.

(info from Reuters)

The first step to overcoming fear is always the same: recognize your fear as fear.

Once you realize that you are afraid, you are free to deal with it. Once you know what you are dealing with, you can handle it.

Dealing with fear isn’t easy. There is no complete solution to overcoming fear - we will always have it. The extent of fear, however, can be changed.

As stated above, the first step is recognition of your fear. For example, if you are in a situation where you see a hot girl who you would like to get to know but you can’t bring yourself to approach, you have to recognize that you are AFRAID of approaching.

I know, it’s not rocket science, but a lot of people (even you) do not go through the process of having the COURGAGE to call fear “fear”. They may call it “anxiety”, “stress”, “pressure”, or any number of other words. But in the end it all boils down to fear.

Fear usually originates from childhood. When you were 8, you learned from your mom, from TV, from movies, and from songs a few simple, but very destructive myths about women:

* It is rude/weird to touch them — the basis of our fear of KINO.

* The key to getting women is to treat them like queens — the basis of our fear of showing flamboyant confidence around women.

* You should always avoid confrontation with a woman at all costs — the basis of our fear to approach.

* If a woman really likes you, she will approach you — another basis of our fear to approach.

* Hot women only go for really muscular or pretty-boy guys — yet another basis of our fear to approach.

* Women really want an honest, straightforward guy — the basis of our fear of being a challenge.

* Women want a dependable guy — the basis of our fear to be exciting and unpredictable.

Once again, all of the above are myths.

So, how do we get over our fears? We recognize them as fears. Then we rationalize them. “Is fear warranted here?” This is the key. Look at yourself from an objective point of view. If you can do this successfully, you will be able to look at your situation with much more clarity and wisdom.

Say, for example, that you are afraid to kiss a girl on your first date. Rationalize: Think of the facts. Only of the facts. Try to see through your negative emotions (which cloud your vision). The facts probably are:

1. She has accepted the date. Therefore she must have a reasonably high interest level.

2. The only way she can hurt me, is emotionally, and I have complete control of my emotions.

3. I can always gracefully walk away after trying.

Result: All systems go. Go for the kiss. Very good chance of getting it.

YOU DO HAVE ANOTHER OPTION TO FACING FEAR: Don’t think at all, just act on positive emotions and desires. Far simpler, a lot quicker.

Comes up with the same results; and the best part is: you feel so empowered. Basically, you just charge forward acting on pure instinct (but disregarding all negativity). It’s that easy.

So, in summary, the two best ways of facing fear are:

Rationalizing:

Recognize that you are afraid. Isolating the reason for your fear. Think of the bare facts. Act on them.

Instincts:

Recognize that you are afraid. Act purely on POSITIVE instincts.

The result of both: come off silky smooth, and confident. AS IF you have no fear.

But of course, you know better… we all have fear, but some of us know how to deal with it.

(info by De La Soul)